Sacred Space

I can sense it happening, a slight vibrational shift of energy at first; a hint of noise breaking through the silence. And then, all at once, it is here; unsettling anxiety, a deep contraction in my body. My first reaction is always the same.

Change something. Shifting my external world will surely bring me happiness. Creating a peaceful altar, painting my room or rearranging my furniture will create the space that I need to dissipate these feelings in my body. Initially, the shiny new arrangement of furniture drops me into a greater sense of ease, delighting at the shift of external circumstances. A few short hours later, happiness seems to slip away and I drop back into distress.

I’ve spent years going through these cycles of looking. Desperately grasping for the perfect sacred space outside myself; the magical configuration of furniture and trinkets that would lead me directly to lasting freedom. It didn’t happen that way.

It was Utthita Trikonasana that lead me into sacred space. What I was longing for had nothing to do with altars and furniture. After years of practicing, and a yoga teacher training, suddenly and with no warning, triangle pose shifted my life. I was drawn out of my cycle of thoughts and into my feet and the simple connection to foundation and unwavering support. Followed by an awakening to the presence of strength in my own body, not just to hold the pose, but the ability to expand beyond the edges of my body. And then a tranquil stillness right at the center. That was it, sacred space!

This sweet pose gave me enough space to see that my body is here to serve my spirit and if there is danger present, my body shows up to protect me. Our asana practice is a refinement of perceptions. Witnessing the paths in which our thoughts can take our bodies into reactions and staying present to the innermost space, the witness. It is there that we can guide our bodies back, out of reaction and into the sacred space.

Here is to the New Year

Behind closed eyes I drop into the body and notice something new, a steadiness I have never experienced before this moment. This is a shift I wasn’t anticipating. I have been working to release self doubt and patterns of insecurities. As this judgement falls away, I have slowly become more clear about my intentions and dreams, my body has shifted into a more grounded place.

I always thought living and working within my passion would feel like butterflies in my stomach, almost a jittery level of excitement. But to my surprise and delight, as I embody my passions, it feels instead, like stability, an energy that is truly sustainable. I feel more connected and part of the world instead of being on the edge of things.

This clarity has shifted my work as well. As I move through my education and teaching, I have a deeper sense of trust in the process, when I am in my grounded body, as opposed to being completely in my head, I hold space for the everyone in my life to embody their experiences. I have found this space opens to me through my daily practices. I am going to list mine below as I move into the new year (2019), these are my manifestation tools.

  1. Sobriety. 

  2. Food as Medicine.

  3. Meditation.

  4. Study.

  5. Exercise.

Manifestation

I have been doing a lot of inner and outer work these past few years. My life has changed in so many ways, and I am getting closer to my goals and aspirations everyday. The main method of manifestation I have been working with is meditation. I have done some childhood work along with some shadow work. I am excited to share my biggest manifestation to date.

We decided we wanted to buy a new house in the neighborhood that we have loved for so many years, but never thought we could afford. We looked into renting our house out instead of selling, we found an amazing realtor and mortgage broker. As we started looking at houses I started meditations on manifesting the home that I dreamed of. My list of desires:

  1. Three Bedrooms

  2. Two Bathrooms

  3. Schools in the District the boys were currently in

  4. Not a fixer-upper

  5. Terra Cotta Tiles

This last one was something that came to me in a meditation where I was creating my magnetic home, which is a home that would fulfill all of my needs. The one aspect that came clearly was the tile. As my husband and I walked into our new home I knew immediately it would be ours. It met all the requirements, including the tile! There is a long hallway and an enclosed sunroom with the exact tile on the floor that came to me in my magnetic home. The whole process was so smooth I could hardly believe it was true until we spent our first night in our new, amazing home. Every morning I wake up and smile thinking how much gratitude I have for this home. We are truly blessed!